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Drown.In.Yourself

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i found out about you [07 Jul 2004|08:15pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Haven't updated this journal for awhile. Plus this is only my public journal. My friends only journal is alot more private. If you wanna be added you know the process. Well anyways. For the 4th of july me, my mom, my dad, and my brother and his friend brandon were all going to silverwoood theme park. and right as we were about to leave my mom's friend patty shows up with her daughter genny, and my mom hasn't seen patty for like 5 years so my mom was like hey why dont you guys go with us. so they did. we went over to where patty was staying which is with my mom's other friend mary. which is patty's sister. and my mom invited her. so there were 8 of us all together. My dad being the "nice" guy that he was that day decided to literly pay for everything. The tickets ended up being over 200 hunderd dollars for everybody. He also bought breakfast that morning, and lunch at silverwood. and dinner that evening. and everybody a shirt and other stuff that they wanted. I was like whoa dad your fuckin loaded. Yes i say fuck infront of my parents. When i do and my friends are around there like "mindy can you do that" and im like "yeah.. i just did dude" my dad kind of gets upset. my mom doesn't really care anymore. She only corrects me when there are people over that are need more 'respect' than that. But other than that she doesn't care. Its funny. Tomorrow me and my mom are driving to oregon. actually im driving her car to oregon with her in it. Were going to go eat lunch and what not. It will be great fun. I swear im spoiled. I don't act spoiled but i have my days. Its great cuz when my mom is mad, she's like lets go buy shit. its called our "mad" money. My mom is so funny.

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[30 Jun 2004|09:56pm]

Richland sky's are beautiful. I live in finley. Im never in richland.

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[30 Jun 2004|09:47pm]
[ mood | waiting for love ]

Im gonna come out and admit it. I want to fall in love. You know the kind of love that makes it hard to breath when you think about it. The kind that makes you so happy you could puke. I want that. Nobody wants that with me tho. Which really saddens my heart. And all the people that 'like' me aren't worth my time. Lets see there's a jock named mason, and a 40-something year old named roger. Hmm... lets see here. Mason. is a jock. He only cares about himself. It's all about him. He throws fits when he doesn't get his way. Roger. He's old. He has a kid and he's a stalker. This is sadly the truth because one day i was talking to him on the internet and he's like "so i see you moved your trampoline" Yes scary. Everytime i think about falling in love i wanna shoot myself in the face. Why can't I. All my friends have there little buddies and such, and i don't have nothin. I think you have to be pretty to feel love. Plus im 17 years old and on the immature side.

If i could fall in love that would just be the greatest thing in the world. I know i shouldn't live my life with full of wants and stuff but its hard not to. I make alot of excuses. But its okay. It's sad to think that pretty much everynight i lay down in my bed and think and cry. I cry so much. Im a cry baby. Everytime something doesn't go my way i cry. i cry alot. I've probably cried a gallon of tears in the past week. If you think about it. A gallon is way bigger than a tear so thats alot of tears. I just wanna be happy.

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Next time you want to FUCK me over stab me in the front [30 Jun 2004|09:33pm]

Okay well this is my public journal. Which means anybody can view it. My other journal attackoframpage  Is for me and my friends that i hang out on a regular bases. If you would like to be added to it. Then i guess we gotta become better friends buddy. But this one is probably just going to be a journal where i vent and so. So if you have a problem with it. Then ha that sucks for you. Anyways.. Lately My life has been really good. I don't even know why. It has just been awesome. Then today i was really depressed for some reason.

I woke up in a bad mood. Then i had to go to school. All the fuckin preppy people pissed me off there so that made me in another bad mood.

I was in a bad mood because my FAVORITE aunt and uncle were down from texas for a day and i didn't even getta talk to them that much, and i didn't get to say bye. Kinda broke my heart but hey lots of things break my heart. Im a "emo" kid i guess you could say. I don't really care to much about labels. Why can't we just see people as people. It's kinda bullshit. Oh well right. The world still go's around and around.

I was in a horribly horrid mood today. I was home alone for awhile. In this hour i ended up throwing myself down on the bathroom floor. And i fuckin cried and cried and screamed and cried and pretty much threw a fit. But oh well. i needed it. Then i ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife i held it in my hand for awhile.. Thinking what i should do with this thing. I was gonna cut myself again. But then i was like. No i can't be doing this my whole life. so i put it back. Then i went and got on the internet talk to cooter. Cooter makes me really happy and he doesn't even know it. He's an awesome friend. It would be cool if he was more, but im not complaining. Im glad he's my friend. I just wanna know what he feels about me. With my luck he probably thinks im stupid depressed emo kid that needs a life.

I hate guys. There are so many stupid fucks out there. Likecalciumfree  He was really nice to me when we first started talking. Telling me that he wanted to make me happy and he was always gonna be there. And that he loved me. That kinda weirded me out but i knew he meant it in a Friend way. Which was very cool. Then he decided to BLOCK me. Yeah BLOCK me. I thought that was kinda bullshit. I guess im just a loser.

321 is probably the most boring thing there is in the tri-cities. And i don't care who throws a fit about it coughinyourwayturn cough. Sucks for her i guess. See ya</span>

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